Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
