Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
