Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
