The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.