omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.