He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.