Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  True but thats because hes a fetus.

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  (212) True but thats because hes a fetus. http://tfl.nu/yw68
  Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (911)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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  (604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma
  Replies (34) Good night (2292) Bad night (2690)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

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  (412): Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets. http://tfl.nu/agl3
  Replies (48) Good night (1115) Bad night (4300)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas

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  (251): I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas http://tfl.nu/8b13
  Replies (10) Good night (808) Bad night (3690)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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  (970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg
  Replies (100) Good night (6563) Bad night (2273)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"

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  (905): he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine" http://tfl.nu/dcrf
  Replies (23) Good night (1535) Bad night (4425)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

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  (541): I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with http://tfl.nu/nhts
  Replies (41) Good night (2041) Bad night (4802)
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  (631): View more from New York

  the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'

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  (631): the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010' http://tfl.nu/beuj
  Replies (9) Good night (6537) Bad night (952)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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  (814): If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know. http://tfl.nu/ag02
  Replies (7) Good night (2201) Bad night (1604)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just googled if crying burns calories

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  (416): I just googled if crying burns calories http://tfl.nu/qfsf
  Replies (14) Good night (1034) Bad night (3425)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

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  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5436) Bad night (1048)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.

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  (416): We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time. http://tfl.nu/y0p3
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (477)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.

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  (919): Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ea08
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (462)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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  (580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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  (787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id
  Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (419)

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