i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
