Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
420 ftw
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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