Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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