I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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