No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
