just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need a beard to bite.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have post one night stand depression
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
