Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
