girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
