If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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