Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it was like eating out sand paper
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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