I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
