i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
