I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
