Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize