My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
