after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
