you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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