What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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