I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
