So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
