We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
