i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
