i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
