Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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