I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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