this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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