like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Found the puke drawer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
