he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
