i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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