Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have already put on my inside pants.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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