you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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