i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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