you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it glows. i had to have it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
