And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
