Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
