Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
