Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
