What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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