can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I want is dick and wine.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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