i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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