Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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