Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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