I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
