I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
