I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
well you can't waste a boner
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
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I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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