Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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