I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
