I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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