Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
