I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize