Life is so much better after having sex.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
