Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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