apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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