We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
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I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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